i'm simply a 16 year old girl trying to get somewhere in life. i've got quite a mind i've been told. i may not post as much as i'd like to but there's always something worth reading on here, guaranteed.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Juss Writing. [032710]

i won't list names. but they should know who they are.
if i put a blank in this is cus i don't want their business all out there.
you guys understand right?

i wrote this on march 25th. in the shower.

remember how we used to be?
together happily when you started talking in january.
you were like drake, saying i was the best you ever had.
said everyday without me was always bad.
you said i love you, was this real?
did you really feel the way i feel?
then you went out with her, the first time you hurt me.
cried so much told myself it wasn't meant to be.
stopped talking, didn't wanna hear from you.
cus you were so happy with her, what could i do?
then you guys break up, you come running back.
can't believe you reeled me back in, juss like that.
finally went out in the month of july.
but i felt things go downhill, then 2 weeks flew by.
said you couldn't do it, hoped i understand.
i said i wouldn't cry, but you weren't my man.
it didn't hurt as much that time, i expected it really.
like i said, we weren't meant to be together clearly.
2 weeks after, a new girl again.
what could i say? to you she was a perfect 10.
you guys ended, came running back once more.
then again i felt my heart tore.
but a month or so later, a new girl, another.
________ was her name, a pretty face like no other.
i told you she wasn't your type but who was i to judge?
ehh, maybe it ws cus i still held a grudge.
recently you guys broke up, it didn't work out.
am i juss a rebound? apparently that's what it was about.
you said you forgot what love was.
but said i could remind you cus.
in your heart i was your unofficial girl outta all the girls.
always had a smile that shined brighter than pearls.
you even thought of having kids.
thought we'd last forever, at least i thought we did.
but how can i keep up when all i do is suffer.
i know pretty soon you're gonna find another "lover."
i guess it's the distance that's keeping us from us.
cus of you i can't love, all i do is lust.
i always think back to the night of march 23rd.
i poured out my feelings & you heard.
what i said but it didn't sink into your head.
at least it didn't seem like it, maybe it did.
i hate how you act like nothing happened.
you were always in demand, always the captain.
i'd listen cus you had me sprung like t-pain.
but everything that's happened has happened in vain.
but today's the 25th of mach, morning of the 26th, 2010.
if you asked i wouldn't start over again.
cus i'm not putting up with the tears & heartache.
i don't wanna keep smiling smiles of the fake.
cus i'm still wounded to this day.
everything juss went the wrong way.

-jenn-tacular;

"Have you ever wondered, why I always keep coming back for more?"
-ATB

Monday, March 15, 2010

Caught In A Bad Romance. [031510]

i'm not even in a romance. or at least not that i know of.

i'm gettin' so tired of people all over my case cus of some that happened in the past. i mean we live in the present, why is there a need to shove things from the past in people's faces? especially when you know that that shit has hurt them. i mean you should juss drop the subject. why bring it up if they aren't good memories?

all i can say is that, please don't shove things from the past in my face if you know that it displeases me. i mean why? what's the point? to piss me off? i know pissin' me off is fun but juss chill people. it's nothing to bring up. it's not a topic to talk about.

these guys are all over my case cus of some that happened. i didn't even mean for it to happen. it juss happened. if i could, i'd take it all back, but apparently i can't. oh well. hop off my pussy.

also, i'm so tired of being such a good person. what have i gotten in return? besides the ice cream. why can't people show me any decency back?

-jenn-tacular;

"Baby you gave up, you gave up."
-Lady Gaga

Friday, March 5, 2010

Maybe It's Nothing At All. [030510]

i'm so tired of acceptin' things that really bother me. i mean if it bothers me that much i should juss speak up right? but noo, i don't wanna be lectured at. i wanna avoid fights & whatnot. it's not my fault really. but what can i do? wouldn't you wanna avoid stuff like that too? avoidin' all the fights & drama. all the emotions fightin' at each other. & the time wasted basically. & then this drake song got me thinking. man, can whatever i have with any guy be SOMETHING? at all? or is it all nothing? cus i'm so tired of being left here lonely & abandoned. my heart is in deep hurt, wound too deep to heal. can't do anythin' about that either. it's always gonna be there to stare & laugh at me. remind me how foolish i've been. how blind i've been. how naive i was to believe it all.

-jenn-tacular;

"This could be something."
-Drake