Random Thoughts. [070910]

i don't think it's possible to count the times i've asked myself "what could've been if..", "what if..", "why didn't i.." & etc. what could've been if i didn't meet you? what could've been if i didn't fall so hopelessly in love with you? what if i actually gave you a chance? what if i wasn't so stubborn & blind? why didn't i say what i needed to when you asked me? juss why, what if, how & so many things sprinting through my mind.

thinking about how right now, maybe i do want a relationship. but then why have one if you juss want one? i'd rather be devoted & dedicated to the person without a relationship, no strings attached. i'm still an independent female & i don't need to rely on a man. i may want you, but no one said i never needed you. need is an illusion & excuse for me to keep you by my side. although all in all, you have the choice to leave. i can't tie you down & say, "YOU'RE STAYING." that's juss not right to me. i've learned that every single thing is your own individual choice. you can't let anyone force you to do/say something.

i've been trying to occupy myself from thinking. but obviously that isn't working. i don't wanna think lately cus all i think about is YOU YOU YOU. & of course the other minor details in my life. yeah. i think about you a lot.

-jenn-tacular;

"Baby you could've been part of a masterpiece."

-Rihanna